The Butler Movie
Dear Creators, particularly Casting Directors, of “The Butler”,
Congratulations on your movie about the history of the Civil Rights movement. I’m sure we’ll be hearing about your film quite a bit when it is Oscar time. While I enjoyed how your film demonstrated what major changes happened to the United States in on man’s life time…..from lynching being condoned to an African-American in the White House…..I do wish you had consulted me on the casting for the Presidents. I have a few suggestions, please share with your movie making friends.
Eisenhower – Robin Williams as Eisenhower….reaaaaaally? I’m aware this isn’t the first time we’ve seen Robin Williams as a president. Casting him as Teddy Roosevelt was brilliant. However, Williams looks nothing like Ike and really has the exact wrong persona. Put him on stilts and he might be a passable LBJ…
Better idea? Ed Harris. First off you wouldn’t even have to change his hair. He also demonstrated that he can show charisma behind a disciplined exterior in “Apollo 13.”
Kennedy –OK having Cyclops from “X-men” as JFK actually probably the best casting move you made with the presidents. But he is, as my sister would say, a little fella. Probably more appropriate casting would have been Bobby.
Better idea? John Barrowman….best known as Captain Jack in Doctor Who…same build, same charisma. Also has shown he has a great ear for dialects.
Johnson –As gifted as Liev Schreiber is….he’s much too petite and graceful to be Lyndon. Yes he can do menacing….but for LBJ you need somebody big and ungainly.
Better idea? Michael Richards….best known as Kramer from Seinfeld. First off you’d save a fortune on latex….he already has the right nose and ears, and the right overall build and the right energy. Sure, thanks to that stand-up incident he has a bit of a reputation for being an asshole….but that doesn’t exactly hurt when playing LBJ.
Nixon and Reagan – I love John Cusack. I’ve had a soft spot in my heart for him ever since he played a Great Depression era teenager in “The Journey of Natty Gann.” That being said….while it was an adequate portrayal of Nixon….way too charismatic….I don’t buy him as the guy whose shoulders were practically attached to his ears, even when he was playing piano.
I also adore Alan Rickman. I’ve liked him in just about every role I’ve seen him in….except this one. Alan Rickman has a lot of positive qualities as an actor….but I don’t think I’ve ever seen him pull off gregarious.
Better idea? Swap the parts! Alan Rickman would be far more believable as Nixon….the clenched manner of speaking, the uneasiness….I mean Nixon was pretty much soulless American Severus Snape….not much of a stretch.
Whereas John Cusack has the bigger build, and the twinkly Irish quality you need for the Gipper. Not to mention every Gen X’er would get a good chuckle out of watching Lloyd Dobler play President Reagan.
That being said Jane Fonda as Nancy Reagan….stroke of genius.
Indochine Part XV: One Night in Bangkok or There and Back Again
Friday in Luang Prabang, I got up early to watch the monks receiving their alms. Got some nice pictures. Then as it was early and not blazing hot yet, I decided to take a walk. A British lady passed me on a bike and asked me “Did you happen to see a bunch of monks around?” Was tempted to say “Not since my parents’ last party!” Although I don’t think that was the type of monk she had in mind.
Apparently all males in Laos are supposed to spend 10 days of their life as a monk. My Luang Prabang tour guide told me he didn’t even last 3 days. He couldn’t handle getting up at the crack of dawn and not eating after noon. His friends sneaked in some food to him, and he got booted out.
I got two very different takes on how the Hmong community in Laos is being treated these days. My Luang Prabang tour guide (who is in his 20’s) was commenting that there was a lot of civil unrest with the Hmong….and that they got moved to the lowlands so they will have an easier time farming. My Vientiane tourguide (in his late 40’s) suggested that the Hmong were FORCED into moving into the lowlands and were having a hard time making the adjustment. Given that the Hmong and ethnic Laotians have never had a happy relationship….the Lao used to gas whole Hmong villages in the 70’s….I’m inclined to believe the Trail of Tears version of the story.
Will be interesting to see how Laos looks in 10 years. They didn’t seem to be the most ambitious of cultures….apparently the French used to say “Vietnamese grow the rice, Cambodians watch the rice grow, and the Lao listen to the rice”….the French actually tried to import more Vietnamese people into Laos to try and increase productivity. However it sounds like they are perfectly fine with having other countries be ambitious on their behalf. There is currently a dam that makes hydroelectric power on the Mekong that the Chinese built. I had to laugh, as initially I thought Lyndon Johnson was being just clueless and an ethnocentric American when he thought the Mekong should be used like the Tennessee Valley Authority. 50 years later….it’s happening!
Friday afternoon I flew to Bangkok. In really long journeys, there is always the point in the trip where things slowly start to look more like home. On my road trip to the western states, that point was in South Dakota. Here, it was when we drove past a McDonald’s. I hadn’t seen one of those in a month. That was the second most excited I ever was to see the Golden Arches. (The first most excited was when we were driving back from a service trip to a homeless shelter in the southside of Chicago. I think I may have heard angels singing when we saw those golden arches.)
My buddy Dao has been my guide around town. She was a foreign exchange student at my high school exactly 20 years ago. She now works for the American Embassy. It’s been fascinating getting her take on world affairs….and to hear an Asian point of view on the contrast between Wisconsin and Southeast Asia. (Especially as she’s one of the first people I’ve spent time with on the trip that’s not only heard of Wisconsin but lived there!) I was a bit surprised when everything in the neighborhood I’m staying in shut down at around 9 PM….given Bangkok’s reputation. But we still had a nice dinner and watched sunset on the Chao Praya River. You know in “One Night in Bangkok” when he complains about the “muddy river and the reclining Buddha”? THAT was the muddy river….the reclining Buddha we see tomorrow.
We then took a boat and a train to the Bangkok Mall so I got to see some of modern Bangkok. Initially we were going to the outdoor market tomorrow….but the idea of wall to wall people in triple digit heat…..toss in a dodgeball game and some bureaucrats and that sounds like hell to me. So we’re finding something more low key to do instead.
Then at midnight, I hop a plane and will proceed to have the longest Monday of my life. This has been an amazing trip….but the Divine Miss M. needs a cheeseburger stat! See a lot of you soon!
Indochine Part XIV: Oodles of Buddhas
As my tour guide in Vientiane escorted me to the aiport yesterday, he was commenting that Luang Prabang has a slower pace than Vientiane. As Vientiane borders on comatose, this had me wondering if Luang Prabang was going to have a pulse.
Luang Prabang is the former royal capital of Laos. Its population is 60000 people. It’s a UNESCO heritage site and while it definitely has its charm….I totally get why most Southeast Asia tour packages skip over Laos altogether.
Pretty much the activity here is climb a bunch of stairs and see a bunch of Buddhas….lather rinse repeat. Also is a bit frustrating that most of the coolest sites….like the 2000 year old Prabang Buddha that the city got its name from….you are forbidden to photograph. The set of stairs yesterday actually led to a pretty spectacular view of the city. Although today…..climbing a bunch of stairs to see a cave full of Buddhas….and then climbing 200 steep stairs that you pretty much have to goosestep to get up….to see a slightly bigger cave with a few more Buddhas….can’t say this was one of my favorite activities.
So after the stairs and the Buddhas….I thought my calisthenics for the day were over. Little did I know I was going to have to work for my lunch. I thought it would be a matter of the boat pulling up to the dock, and walking to the restaurant. Instead I was informed that I would have to climb through two other boats to get to the dock. I am pretty pleased that I managed to refrain from saying “You are SHITTING me!”
The excitement didn’t end there. Then I stepped on a bamboo platform that shuddered under my weight. After that there was a steep hill that, thank the travel gods, eventually led to some stairs. Then I had to do a cartwheel through a hoop that was set on fire…..OK maybe not that last bit. One thing that kept me in good spirits today was picturing the sort of trophy wife that tends to frequent the American Club on this sort of tour. I’m guessing the trophy wife would also have a problem with holding your lunch plate so the ants can’t get at your food.
I did enjoy the boatride down the Mekong. Pretty scenery….a lot of green mountains. I also enjoyed getting to see the “Lawyer Palace”….that was how my guide pronounced “Royal Palace’….it was where the royal family lived until 1975. Now it is the national museum.
Tomorrow I have a free day. The plan is to get up early to see the monks receiving alms. Apparently that’s what you do here when you are not climbing stairs to see a cave full of Buddhas. Then plan to stroll through town.
Friday I fly to Bangkok to see my friend Dao. She was a foreign exchange student at my high school exactly 20 years ago. She has informed me that the game plan for this weekend is: “Instead of Eat Pray Love, we will Eat Chat Nap!” Sounds just like what the doctor ordered! Then I will have a 36 hour Monday….leaving Bangkok at midnight on Monday….and then fly from Korea at 11 AM on Monday July 15th…to arrive in Chicago at 10 AM on July 15th. It is like I have my own time machine! And not a moment too soon….this hobbit is definitely feeling the call of the Shire.
Indochine Part XIII: Thank God For Mississippi
When Bill Clinton was first elected governor, Arkansas ranked 49th in a number of areas, including education. Bill’s comment about that ranking: “Thank God for Mississippi.”
Laos is the Mississippi of Southeast Asia. My tour guide in Cambodia commented that Cambodia ranked 9th out of 10 for literacy in Southeast Asia. Who ranked 10th? You guessed it. The country that JFK used to pronounced “lay-us.” One reason Burma recently decided to change its ways and have a more democratic and business-friendly country is because their Gross National Product had fallen below that of Laos. So why was this country the deal-breaker on my trip to Southeast Asia? If I couldn’t come here I wouldn’t go at all….more on that later. First, a little about my day.
Most of my morning was getting from Hanoi to Vientiane. The contrast between the two capital cities is incredible. Hanoi is so manic, it’s hard not to walk on the SIDEWALK without getting run over by a moped. Vientiane has a smaller population than Milwaukee. There aren’t a lot of mopeds around. Most streets you could probably cross at a pretty leisurely pace.
I have a theory that different cultures are like personalities. There are some you just naturally gel with better than others. I felt I gelled pretty well with the Cambodians. The Vietnamese….as much as they have a fascinating country….I just never felt in sync with them. Now that I’m in Laos, it feels a little more like I’m in home territory again.
My tour of Vientiane was about 2 hours long and tour guide informed me that was about all I’d need. Tomorrow I fly to Luang Prabang (which is one of those names you just need to shout out, like Cucamonga. LUANNNGGGGGG PRABAAAANNNNNG!)
So pretty much I got a one-on-one tour of the highlights of town. My tour guide teased me. “It’s like you are a princess!” Saw a couple of temples….one of the highlights is “This is where the great Emerald Buddha….used to be….until the Thai army stole it….um yeah…it’s in Bangkok now. Although to Thai tourists we say we gave it to them as a gift so they aren’t offended.” Got a kick out of a local monument that is pretty much a Lao-style Arc de Triomphe and a cool little building that centuries ago used to be the National Library of Laos. Also had a chuckle when, discussing the history of Lao-American relations…my tour guide asked me “Have you heard of Richard Nixon?” I managed not to laugh my head off. (In the odd chance that any readers aren’t familiar with my presidential obsession….I’ve read so much on Nixon I taught one of the tour guides at his library something new about him.)
After the tour ended, I wandered down to the Mekong River for a bit of a walk. In this part of Laos, you can see Thailand on the other side of the river. Now, as I didn’t want to wander around alone after sunset….decided to grab dinner near the hotel and get to bed early. Apparently Lao is going to open its borders in 2015. So in a few short years, this could be a very different place.
If you are curious about my history with Lao culture and the Laotian people read on. Otherwise….skip ahead and I’ll be back to writing about my adventures tomorrow!
My curiosity with Southeast Asia started out pretty early when I realized that having a lot of Hmong refugees around wasn’t something that every town had always had. I vividly remember seeing film footage about Vietnam in elementary school. It was winter in Wisconsin and I wondered why on earth people would leave such a beautiful green place for Wisconsin. I figured something really bad must have happened.
Fast forward to middle school. When I was in 7th grade, in Janesville, we got a new student from Laos named Sofa. One of my classmates thought it would be cool to learn a few words to be able to talk to her. I thought this was a great idea. So I found a Lao-English phrasebook in the library. A couple of days later, I marched up to Sofa in the cafeteria and informed her “We are learning Lao”….and proceeded to totally massacre “suh-bye-DEE”…the Lao word for hello. Sofa laughed hysterically, corrected my pronunciation, laughed some more, and we became friends.
From then on, I helped out Sofa with her English, and Sofa taught me quite a bit of Lao…including how to read their alphabet. Before long I was going over to her house and her family adopted me. I knew I was in the day that Sofa’s sister’s unfortunate boyfriend was over at the same time. The poor guy seemed to be making a genuine effort with the family, but they were having none of it. They smiled to his face, and then as soon as he was out the door they lit into him. “Ugly Amelican! We no like him….not like YOU Holly. We like you. We find you Lao husband.” This would be one of the first of many times that I was informed that I was “one of the good ones” for whatever group I represented at the time….white people, Americans, Anglos, Catholics, heterosexuals…. Sofa’s family even attempted to teach me how to cook a Lao dish which just resulted in me with tearing eyes, a runny nose, and hiccuping as I gulped down soda attempting to combat the spice. Sofa made such an impact on my family there are Sofa-isms that my mom and I still use to this day. “Eat! Eat! You hungly!” Meanwhile, I was devouring any book I could find in the library about Southeast Asia.
When we moved back to Sheboygan, and Sofa moved as well, we lost touch. But I wound up making some Hmong friends. One day one of my Hmong friends informed me there would be a Hmong language class. I called up and joined….much to my surprise it wasn’t a class on how to learn Hmong vocabulary….it was a class for native speakers on how to read and write Hmong! I kept taking the class anyway. One of my friends later informed me I was mentioned on the local Hmong radio class. “We have an American in our class. Maybe she’ll work for us some day.” I thought of that years later when I created the Hmong language section for a Sheboygan elementary school library. “The radio guy was right! I AM working for them!”
I made a few friends in that class. A lot of them had been born in Laos, so it got to be our inside joke to greet each other in Lao in the hallway. One friend’s father, with the little English he had, was delighted that I was interested in Laos and made sure to point out on the map what part he was from. But the standout moment for me was the day that the ESL classes were taking a field trip. I walked past a school bus totally full of Hmong students. One of my friends poked his head out the window and said “Goodbye! They are sending us back to Thailand!”
Since those days, I never lost my captivation with Southeast Asia. Particularly Laos, the birthplace of so many of my friends. Hence here I am tonight…..hanging out in Sofa’s hometown.
Indochine Part XII: St. Joe and Uncle Ho
Today was my last day in Vietnam. I’ve gotten good at recognizing the words for different meats. Thit bo – beef Thit ga – chicken Thit cho – dog meat Thit meo – cat meat. On our bus ride the other day, part of my entertainment was counting all the restaurants that had dog meat. One with dog AND cat meat had a smiling Lassie picture on their sign. Claire and I were having a debate on which we’d rather eat: dog meat or fried tarantula. Claire said she’d prefer dog meat. Me, I’d go for the tarantula….no guilt that way.
Yesterday the official tour was over and most of my tour group had gone on to their various destinations (pretty much Australia and Thailand) leaving the Americans behind. So Adalina and I decided to be brave and venture out a bit into Hanoi. It was pretty much a girlie day. We did a little shopping. Adalina got a manicure while I had a bubble tea (I never turn down the opportunity for a bubble tea!)
Then we decided to be daring and get haircuts. Adalina had spotted a couple of signs for salons near our hotel. The first one seemed to be more of a barbershop. The second one took some searching. The sign was on the main street, but the shop itself was in a backalley off a backalley. We liked the lady’s hair who was running the shop and the price was right, so we decided to give it a go. First off…..best shampoo job of my life. And a scalp massage that was almost an out of body experience. Then I managed to mime about how much hair I wanted chopped off, and that I wanted layers. Well, my hair is considerably shorter than I was expecting, but I’m thrilled with my new do! And all for $7. That evening we picked a restaurant at random from the guide book. It was a second floor balcony view which was great atmosphere. But rather disappointing pho (Vietnamese beef soup)….I’VE actually made better tasting pho than that and I’m pretty domestically challenged.
This morning we got up early to go visit Uncle Ho at the Mausoleum. Viewings are only from 7:30-10:30 AM. Well by the time we actually found the end of the line….roughly the length of the Mekong….we did the math and realized by the time we got to the front, the viewing would be over. That and Commie Lady pitching a fit because we weren’t standing in line exactly the right way….encouraged us to change our plans.
So we walked back to the hotel via the Hanoi Botanical Garden….admission price…10 cents! We watched people playing bad minton for a bit.
This afternoon I ventured out on my own. The 6 PM Mass has the biggest reputation. It is usually full to overflowing with people on their mopeds listening to Mass outside. I opted to go to the 4 PM Mass instead. It turned out, it was a children’s Mass! About 10 minutes before Mass started about 100 kids came in. One of the nuns helped coach the kids on the responsorial Psalm and the Alleluia…which was great because then I got to learn them too. We had a little sheet with the lyrics. I’m sure my Vietnamese sounded like Jar-Jar Binks, but I always try to participate in Mass as much as I can.
Quite a few of the Mass parts and prayers were sung. Both the priest and the children had beautiful singing voices. Ties with the Buddhist temple for the best music I’ve heard in Vietnam. The homily was pretty interactive. I got a kick out of what I could manage to decipher. The priest was asking a series of questions, and whoever got it right got a free book of some sort. So I had fun watching who the Hermione Grangers were….who were the kids that would be sitting right next to me in class if they were my students….and watching the priest try to be encouraging to one child who gave an answer that was waaaay offbase.
I was sitting next to an older lady that I’m pretty sure was the grandmother of some of the children at the Mass. She was very friendly. Pretty much when at doubt in Mass….find a little old lady. Odds are, they know what’s going on. However, it struck me as I shook her hand during the Sign of Peace….this woman probably lived in Hanoi while the Americans were bombing it. The fact that we were able to give each other the sign of peace now I found very moving.
After Mass there was a torrential rain. I opted to run into the nearest restaurant for dinner. “Marilyn’s Cafe”…..Marilyn has never steered me wrong before. The food I had wasn’t particularly authentic, but it was tasty.
Now off to pack. In 12 hours I’m on a plane to Laos!
Indochine Part XI: Fezzik Are There Rocks Ahead?
Most of Friday was getting from Hue to Hanoi. Hanoi has been….well…kind of Hanoiying. In Saigon there is a method to the madness with the traffic. In Hanoi, it’s only madness. I don’t usually come down with a bad case of Illnois Teretz Syndrome while I’m a pedestrian. (Karen called it “Ratzo Rizzo-itis.) “Hey you shitheads I’m TRYING TO GO THAT WAY!!!” Hanoi is 1000 years old…..so think Boston times 3 both for the way the roads are laid out and the drivers’ attitudes…and you’ve got the right idea. Our tour guide made a comment that people in the South are more friendly than people in the North. I laughed and said “It’s the same way at home!” It probably wasn’t the greatest timing for our tour guide to ask “Hey Hell-uh-ree…are you loving the trip?” while we’re trying not to get smooshed by 50 trillion mopeds on a Hanoi street.
Our first stop in Hanoi was the Temple of Literature. A lot of students go there for luck before their exams to pray, and write their names with their finger on the walls. It was absolutely mobbed. Of course, I know absolutely nothing about being superstitious about exams. (My father put on Gregorian Chant for luck while I was eating breakfast before taking the SAT’s….and I’ve been known to bring along “Jesus in a Can” in my pocket for tests, job interviews….)
Saturday we left Hanoi and went to Halong Bay one of the “new wonders of the world.” The legend is that a dragon flew over this part of the water and laid 3000 eggs. In reality, volcanic activity created 1000’s of islands or karsts or various sizes. Some are huge cliffs…they reminded me of the Cliffs of Insanity in “Princess Bride.” The sea was a perfect green. At one point I was lying in a deck chair, drink in hand, the Beatles on my ipod….watching a sea eagle soar over the karsts. It doesn’t get much better than that. Claire summed it up well: “I am SO privileged! I get to see so many things that most people don’t get to!”
The food on the boat was incredible. Mostly seafood: crab, prawn, oysters…..I’ve easily had the best crab of my life on this trip. The chef was also good at creative veggie preparation. He made flowers out of cucumber, tomato and a chili pepper….and a net to go over one of the fish out of carrots. At one point they brought in candles made out of pineapples and sang “Happy Birthday.” As it was the 4th of July, we all took it to mean “Happy Birthday America.” An appropriate celebration. I’d tried listening to some patriotic music on my ipod earlier….but an American listening to “This land was made for you and me” in what used to be North Vietnam felt a little wrong.
Yesterday we got back to Hanoi. We took a brief visit to the Fine Arts museum. I especially loved the silk paintings from the 1930’s. Interesting combination of Vietnamese and French styles. Although I was definitely struck by just how much of the artwork had soldiers in it. Also, of course, a huge amount of paintings with Ho Chi Minh.
Today the official tour is over. The other Americans and I booked a couple of extra days in Hanoi. Today Adalina and I are going to try to explore Hanoi while crossing as few streets as possible. Tomorrow we’re going to visit the Ho Chi Minh mausoleum and I want to go to Mass at St. Joseph’s Cathedral. I always try to go to Mass and to McDonalds when I’m visiting other countries. Interesting way to gauge the differences. Then Monday I fly to Laos for my last week in Asia.
Indochine Part X: The Forbidden Purple City Is Neither Forbidden Nor Purple Nor A City
Today we spent some time exploring Hue, the ancient capital of Vietnam. We started out going to a nearby village to see a marketplace. I was particularly impressed that the fish were so fresh, they were still jumping. We also had a lady show the equipment they use to catch fish and to winnow rice….actually a lot more entertaining than it sounds. I think this lady missed her calling as an actress.
Then, on a bridge built in 1776, we had the opportunity to talk to a fortune teller. It cost a dollar so I figured what the hell. She insisted that in the next year I’ll get a boyfriend. Right now he’s somewhere far away like Germany, possibly in the military. And I think she said he’s a musician. (That was the only part that sounded likely….that I’ll meet another musician in the next year.) She then said he’ll propose with a diamond ring, we’ll have a son and daughter together and “You will be very happy.” I’m sure I’ll be very happy….but if there are two children in my future I’m willing to wager they are of the feline variety.
One of the younger Australian ladies kept having people grab her and rub her skin because she is so pale. She let a couple of boys take her picture with them, which I’m sure made their month.
Then we went to the largest pagoda in Hue. I have to confess I’m getting a little pagodaed out. However, there were monks that lived on the premises and they ran a school. So the highlight for me was hearing everybody, adult monks and students, sing very enthusiastically. Easily the best music I’ve heard on this trip.
Then we went to the Citadel and saw the Forbidden Purple City. Pretty much it was where the Vietnamese emperor, his concubines, and his eunuchs….used to live. The layout resembles the Forbidden City in Bejing. Although I had to ask about the purple part. I didn’t see any evidence of it anywhere. Our tour guide said one part used to be purple, but the paint has long since worn away. Like so many other historical sites in Vietnam, it got damaged during the war, but slowly and surely it is getting restored.
Then another fabulous Vietnamese meal….definitely going to be seeking out Vietnamese food more when I get home. We followed that to a tomb of one of the Vietnamese kings. Part of it was designed with a lake you couldn’t see the end of to represent the dynasty continuing forever. Ironically, this particular king was sterile. The instability after his reign led to the French coming in.
Finally we went to an old American bunker on a hill that had a particularly spectacular view with the storm clouds coming in. There were jokes when we got our pictures taken “Don’t step too close to the edge….we don’t need one MORE American lost in Vietnam!”
We had the last part of the afternoon and all evening free. I wound up taking advantage of the really really affordable spa services. Definitely felt like a spoiled first world person lounging in a chair watching “Newsroom” on my ipod while two ladies worked on my nails! Then, for a change of pace, I ate a cheeseburger for supper. First time I’ve ever had a cheeseburger with sliced cucumber on it.
Tomorrow we head back to Da Nang…oh Vivaaaa Da Nang….because the Hue airport is closed. We’ll be flying into Hanoi. We’ve been forewarned that if we thought the lack of attention to traffic lights in Saigon was crazy….we ain’t seen nothin’ yet.
Indochine Part IX: Try Poodles With Noodles or Setter’s Even Better
During my lone semester of taking Chinese in college, there one day when our T.A., attempting to give an example said “Retsa say you have-uh dis cat and it’s really delicious.” My classmates and I, full aware of the stereotype, looked at each other wide-eyed and tried not to giggle. Eventually somebody managed to decipher that she didn’t mean “cat” but “cake”!
Different cultures have different ideas of what is considered to be an acceptable food source, and what is not. When I first got to Southeast Asia, I noticed some similarities between where I was traveling, and countries I’d been to before like Costa Rica and Mexico. (Like the whole corrugated roof look is getting very familiar.) However one factor that I did notice was considerably less stray dogs on the streets. Well today our tour guide brought up the….ahem…giant schnauzer in the room.
So yes, some Vietnamese do eat dog meat. Apparently it tastes kind of like goat meat. But it is mostly the Northern Vietnamese that eat it. They say that if there were dog, pork and beef on the table, and they ate the dog meat first…they would not feel the need to eat the chicken or beef because it’s so tasty. Our tour guide, who had a pet dog growing up, was once tricked into eating dog meat. He said he was sick afterwards. I think that’s one form of Vietnamese cuisine I’ll pass on….actually makes the Cambodian fried tarantulas sound much better in comparison. Only problem is I’ve had the old Comedy Central song “Eat a Dog” stuck in my head all day. “Eat a dog, eat a dog. Man’s best friend is delicious. Eat a dog, eat a dog. Fido can be nutritious…”
Today we drove from Hoi An to Hue. (Note to any scattergories fans….if you ever need city names that start with H, get to know Vietnamese geography. Every city we’ve stayed in except one has started with an H: Ho Chi Minh City, Hoi An, Hue, Hanoi, Halong Bay…) In Da Nang we drove over the new dragon bridge, that actually is capable of “breathing” fire. We had a quick stop at China Beach….no sign of Dana Delaney anywhere….and later at Lang Co Beach. We took the scenic route through the Cloudy Pass. That was one of those spectacular views that I usually am unable to savor because I’m the one driving. So usually my brain is going “Ooooh check out that view…..yeah Mukavitz eyes on the road so you don’t go over the CLIFF of that view.” Today, I could just enjoy it.
Now we’re in Hue, best known in the U.S. for being the site of the Tet Offensive in 1968. It also has 8 universities. Out of a population of 500,000….100,000 are students. Apparently it’s a great place to get an education, but a really difficult place to get a job afterwards. Sound familiar fellow Badger alumni? I wonder if Hue has any people with PhDs peddling a cyclo.
This afternoon for lunch I tried duck with 5 spices. It was the first meal I’ve had here that was really spicy….or as my Irish companion would phrase it, “quite lively.” I’ve been quite surprised that the meals aren’t spicier….I was fully prepared to be breathing fire as much as the dragon bridge in Da Nang. Tonight we had a delightful 7 course meal at a local woman’s house.
It’s finally rained here….that hasn’t happened since my first day in Vietnam. So we may finally get a little relief from the heat. I was surprised to find out that Vietnam’s rainy season is at very different month’s than Cambodia’s. It would be kind of like Illinois having a completely different climate to Wisconsin. Tomorrow we visit the Forbidden Purple City.
Indochine Part VIII: The Cham Ruins and Mr. Van
Today it was temple time once more. We ditched the Australians (they were more into having spa treatments today)…and there was an American-Irish-Swiss delegation to the Cham ruins in My Son.
The Cham, an ethnic minority in Vietnam, used to have a thriving civilization. We visited a series of Hindu temples they had built from the 4th to the 13th centuries. Most of these temples had held up quite well…until the Americans bombed the crap out of the area in 1968. Besides the ruins we saw some enormous bomb craters and were warned not to stray from the path as just a few years ago, a child was killed by a landmine in the area.
Our tour guide, Mr. Van, was one of the best we’ve had this entire trip. The man knows his history, Vietnamese, Cham, American and otherwise backwards forwards and upside down. I was especially impressed how he could keep all his dates straight, but still give a lively presentation of the facts. That can be a difficult balance. A lot of the ruins were very linga happy…lingas are in the shape of a phallis. There was one we were encouraged to rub for good luck….ahem… After the tour we were treated to some traditional Cham dancing. I’m guessing they had a pretty big Indian influence as I was surprised to recognize a lot of the arm movements from belly dancing class.
On the drive to and from the temple site, Mr. Van first told us the history of the Vietnam War. (Everytime somebody does this I silently add in the part “And then Nixon and Anna Chennault sabotaged the 1968 peace negotiations and the war extended another 5 years.”) One thing that was news to me is I didn’t realize the extent how how much conflict the Vietnamese had after the Americans left. For one, I knew the Khmer Rouge had invaded, but I didn’t realize it was a steady problem from 1976-1979. Also hadn’t realized that after THAT they got a lot of hassle from the Chinese.
But the more fascinating tale we heard today was Mr. Van’s life story. He’s a year older than my father. So while Mr. Van was telling his story, the parallel story in my head was what my father was doing at the same time.
Mr. Van’s first encounter with an American soldier was when he was a teenager. He was surprised that the soldier spoke Vietnamese really well. He was delighted when the soldier gave him chocolate and chewing gum. (Yes that is how the capitalists seduce you….with chocolate….) Mr. Van figured if he asked the American to teach him English, he might get MORE chocolate. This sounded like a good deal.
After quite a few English lessons, including more formal English lessons in college, he got hired by the American military as an interpreter.
By March 30, 1975 (Happy Birthday Mom) things were going to hell in a handbasket. Mr. Van had a couple of opportunities to flee the country but….and this is a part of the story that was unclear…his family was not along with him either time. His American boss did what he could….and then left $2000 behind for Mr. Van. So rather than abandon his family, Mr. Van spent 3 years in a re-education camp, and was then forced to work as a farmer.
He’s had a long and winding career path since then. In the 90’s, for a while he tried doing business with the Chinese. Then he was hired as an interpreter in Da Nang during one of the resort construction projects. For the past 7 years he has been working as a tour guide and is content. Although one of my travel companions teased him “I bet you have another career change in you yet!” As an American, usually the stories I hear from this era end with “And then I escaped to Thailand and then the U.S.” One of the more fascinating aspects of being in this part of the world is hearing from the people who stayed behind.
After a leisurely lunch….I took advantage that Hoi An is knock-off central….am getting two copies of my glasses made….one regular one in sunglasses form….for about a tenth of what I’d pay in the U.S. Not sure what the quality will be but figured for that price it was worth the risk. So if I suddenly post pictures on facebook looking a little more like Tina Fey, you know why.
Indochine Part VII: Fee Faifo Fum
My first attempt to explore on my own in Asia resembled the one and only adventure our cat Randy had. In a rare moment of naughtiness he snuck out the screen door. He made it as far as the deck, which he hid under, trembling, until my mother found him. He was so spent, that he spent most of the next day sleeping.
That was me the first day in Cambodia. I took a walk around the block and was so overwhelmed, I didn’t venture very far from the hotel until the tour started.
Today we had the whole day free, an easy map to follow….and I decided to give poor Claire a break and venture out on my own. This time….I kept thinking of that scene in “Being There” where Peter Sellers’ character ventures out into New York City for the first time, a jazzy version of “Thus Spoke Zarathustra” (2001 Theme) playing.
Yesterday we flew from an Nha Trang to Da Nang. At first I couldn’t understand why I had a weird feeling of deja vu seeing both airports. Then I found out they had both started out as American military bases. I’m in Central Vietnam now where a lot of the worst of the fighting happened.
Da Nang has already become resort/conference center central. Which I suppose is the fate of any city that has a decent climate and good beaches. For most of the ride from the airport to Hoi An we were really close to the ocean, but could rarely see it because of all of the hotels or hotel building sites.
Hoi An (or Faifo as it used to be known by the Europeans) is a UNESCO heritage city. This means a lot of the architecture in its downtown has to stay as is. Which also means Hoi An is not fated to become 100% western building central like Da Nang or Nha Trang.
Yesterday, after a lunch of Vietnamese chicken and rice, we had a whirlwind tour of the downtown. I think our tour guide was eager to get rid of us for a while. So pretty much it was us tramping around really quickly in 100 degree heat and our tour guide saying “Yeah…so here’s the Japanese bridge. Take a picture….NEXT!”
After that, Claire, Chris (from Switzerland) and I decided we needed a break for cocktails. We wound up having a more leisurely walk back to the hotel. The downtown is charming. Because it was a port city, some of the architecture and food was influenced by their Chinese and Japanese populations. (There is still a Chinese minority in town…but the Japanese have long since left.) We had a meal last night of shrimp dumplings, and pork (and pork cracklings) with noodles. I can’t say I’d object to more Vietnamese restaurants in Wisconsin.
We had an interesting discussion last night about how Asia seems very higglety pigglety to our Western sensibilities. Like how the motorbikes go anywhere, including the sidewalk….often carrying ridiculously huge loads. In Saigon we saw the passenger on a motorbike carrying an entire door. Regulations are also definitely quite lax by Western standards. We discussed last night how our countries might look to somebody from this culture. We wondered if places like the United States and Australia might look overly regimented, restrictive and sterile by comparison.
Today I basically poked around from shop to shop and got some really early Christmas shopping done. Also enjoyed just hanging out in a cafe drinking Vietnamese iced coffee….which is coffee with condensed milk. The cafe was rare as it was actually playing decent music (mostly Leonard Cohen) instead of muzak and really bad covers.
When a lady saw me looking at the menu for her restaurant, she took me to it…it turned out it was down a bit of an alley so I was a bit nervous. But the meal (fried salted crab) was spectacular.
I’ve been impressed at how this is a country that clearly has a rapidly growing economy and so many people are onboard with it. It got me thinking about what Lyndon Johnson said after one of his many trips abroad as vice-president. I forget whether he was talking specifically about Vietnam, but for one of the countries he said all of the people seemed very determined. I wonder what Lyndon Johnson would make of Vietnam today. He’d probably be delighted about everything….except the government.
Tomorrow we take an outing to My Son to see the ruins of some ancient Hindu temples.
Finally as a side note…Robin Williams was dead on about Ho Chi Minh resembling Colonel Sanders. I saw a picture of Ho Chi Minh printed all in red and white, and at first I thought it was a billboard for a KFC until I looked more closely. In Hoi An I’ve seen the most references to American movies about Vietnam. There is a restaurant (an Italian restaurant…) called Good Morning Vietnam….and in the cafe I was in this morning, there was a picture of someone with their hands over their face that said “I love the smell of mypalm in the morning.”
D.C. al Fine 